he is a douche millennial

Hey, Millennial: Your Nonchalance is Showing

Too much money on avocado toast! Millennials change their jobs too much! They’re all choosing to be childless and mindlessly think that plants are children!

Millennials get a lot of schtick for being superficial, shallow, benign, or even having ‘funny characteristics’.

For the vast majority of world-weary, tired and wide awake millennials who can’t afford homes folks, these are the usual slanderous comments which boomer media likes to throw around while being wildly ignorant of how they enabled economic paralysis for this entire generation. More on that later.

Millennials, amirite? Photo by Michael Burrows on Pexels.com

An overview of our main points today when it comes to typical annoying millennials who let the side down:

  1. The Millennial who is vegan, but uses palm oil products
  2. The Millennial who “is sustainable”, but doesn’t do local farm shops
  3. The Millennial who isn’t really in the room
  4. The Millennial who relies on identity politics
  5. The Millennial who relies on an Insta identity
  6. The Millennial who just doesn’t care

In spite of this, here are some of the millennial archetypes who let the side down in detail. (And, to be fair, ALL this applies to the population at large so, hey, f**k you!)

1. The Millennial who is vegan, but uses palm oil products

So. Much. Facepalm… for palm oil.

Palm oil and soya are huge crops relied upon by the vast majority of the population and the large businesses that feed them. Essentially, they are filler products which end up in a large variety of processed off-the-shelf foods and consumables like biscuits, spreads, cakes and toiletries.

Palm oil is almost singularly responsible for the destruction of over half of the world’s rainforests, and is directly responsible for the death of orang-utans, already a seriously endangered species (worsened by human bloodlust for palm oil products).

Vegans who never understand the source of their ingredients and are marketed to effortlessly with a ‘suitable for vegans’ label are part of the problem – and one loathes to say it, but they’re most likely to be Millennials… or Gen Z.

That sucks. It’s high time for lifestyle vegans and plant-based folks to start getting intersectional with their choices and understand their ingredients.

2. The Millennial who “is sustainable”, but ‘doesn’t do local farm shops’

This archetype is almost too good to be true for most boomers, but somehow it exists. Sustainability, from sustainable fashion to sustainable energy – relies mostly on a concept of locality.

It’s understandable why someone might not feel that they should shop local. It sucks because it appears to be down to the rest of us to cut down our air mile in all contexts, and not the billionaires buying private jet businesses. And, there might be a conflict for the aforementioned vegan millennials who don’t want to be supporting a farm that isn’t totally plant-based, organic or sustainable themselves.

Tough choices – but sometimes it’s better to choose the lesser of two evils…

3. The Millennial who isn’t really in the room

Nonchalance! This was a Generation X trait, but it’s something we seem to have in common. Related to point number 6 in this article, not really being in the room is a symptom of, well, an overwhelming sense of existential ennui…

Or maybe, it’s the sheer exhaustion that comes with being part of the generation that is constantly blamed for macroeconomic situations and cultural tropes that are largely outside of its definition and control.

4. The Millennial who relies totally on identity politics

Identity politics have a sneaky way of making people imagine they’re making a difference in the world, when usually this form of social-media-politiking is a fantastic exercise in vanity. Along with confusing individual identity with group identity, there’s the risk of the fragmentation of causes as one group tried to beat another up, leading to what ends up as nothing more than one gang beating up another in the playground.

To quote Amy Chua in an example from one set of bowels from the body of online jousting:

Because the Left is always trying to outleft the last Left, the result can be a zero-sum competition over which group is the least privileged, an “Oppression Olympics” often fragmenting progressives and setting them against each other.

How America’s identity politics went from inclusion to division – Amy Chua, The Guardian

Identity politics have made it easier for people to accuse millennials of ‘virtue signalling’ and to be exploited by darker causes as a sense of tribalism takes over from the instinct to bargain for collective equality. It’s always in the deeper interest of disadvantaged groups to come together first, but all to often they are more interested in ripping each other apart.

5. The Millennial who relies totally on an Instagram identity

Stop. You’re feeding the beast. There’s a little evidence out there that it an serious Insta addiction can ruin your mental health.

6. The Millennial who just doesn’t care

Hello, that’s most of us Millennials – at least in regard to the Mark Manson style of not caring.

We’ve had so much nonsense that it’s hard to care. Some of us are hitting our 40s and are only just able to afford property, for example – an entitled right of the average boomer who didn’t have the after-effects of Nixon shock /lack of a gold standard and Quantitative Easing to worry about.

If there’s anything that a forever war, a leaky coronavirus, 2 economic crashes and the destruction of personal privacy has taught the average Millennial – it’s that there are far too many bigger things to care about than the 20th century art of pointless small talk, for example.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Comments (



%d bloggers like this: